A New Year.

Christmas has come and gone as it always does, lost in a whirlwind of glitter, pine needles and over-indulgence. It was a good one -  filled with all the things I love best, family, friends and Ferraro Roche.

Dee had such fun; her beautiful face practically lit up with glee on Christmas morning, she had such a good time unwrapping (destroying!) her vast amounts of gifts from generous patrons. Mr.D and I decided not to buy anything for her this year, we felt she would be spoiled enough without us adding to the mountain of presents. She is only 15 months old and doesn't really understand.

Christmastime - Daddy, Dee and Uncle Matt

Lost amongst presents! 

For the first time in 4 years we had Christmas with some of my family. It was special. My grandparents are now well into their eighties and I don't know how many Christmases I have left with them, so I took the opportunity to indulge in their company as much as possible. People of the older generation are such interesting souls; my grandparents enrich my life greatly with tales of days gone by, parish gossip and strong morals - we can learn much from them. I sometimes feel saddened that my days with them are numbered, with my Gramps especially who seems weaker this past year. I make sure I visit twice a week, not only do they make a mean cup of tea, but I want to allow Dee as much time with them as possible, so that she too may be influenced by the people who have strongly shaped my life. It worries me that she will not remember them, but I try to take lots of photos so that one day I can remind her of  days filled with the kind of love only grandparents can give.

I lost my maternal Grandad at Christmastime. It was nine years ago this time that he was lost from our lives. I took white roses to his grave to remind him that I love him and that he is always close to me. I wanted beauty to surround him just as our lives are filled with such beauty at this time of year. I miss him still.

We spent New Year with my beloved cousin and her family. We ate, drank and were merry. Nothing fancy of course, just a home-cooked meal, cheap plonk and crap boardgames! Bliss!

A collection of calmer moments

2013 brings lots of exciting things for my little family. We bought a 'house in progress' late last year and January sees the start of our dream home project. I look forward to tracking its journey through my blog.
We go to Thailand soon, which is both exciting and daunting in equal measures. A thirteen hour plane journey with a 15-month old is not ideal but I'm sure Mr.D and I will share the load of our buoyant and forever inquisitive little girl.

Life as always remains busy, tiring, interesting and exciting. I feel blessed going into a new year with so many wonderful things to look forward to. 2012 was full of highs and lows. Those close to me will know what these were - but in essence, I am glad to leave that year behind.

Here is to a new year that is full of all the best things life has to offer. Happiness, hopefulness and above all -  love.

Happy New Year to you all.

Love till next time - L&L x

This Christmas...

I do love Christmas. Even though its sub-zero outside and the shops are rammed with shoppers clambering for their final festive gifts, I can't help but feel utterly wonderful at this time of year. 
Since having Dee, life has become most hectic and Christmas has been no different. Christmas shopping with a pram is about as much fun as watching George 0sborne read the budget. Not very. 
However, having a child at Christmas is like, well, being a child at Christmas. Putting the decorations up this year has seemed ever more special just because I couldn't wait to see little Dee's face the moment she saw them. Of course she was utterly dazzled by my (non-dazzling) tree, sitting in front of it for an age this morning just watching the lights twinkle and laughing with pure glee. 

Even though she is still far too young to properly understand the true meaning of Christmas or who the big man in the red suit is, but the anticipation of all our future Christmases was etched in her beautiful face this morning and it filled me with the kind of joy only a mother can truly feel. 

I can't wait to begin traditions with her. Growing up with divorced parents I felt something was always missing around this time of year. We never watched Christmas films or played in the snow together. Whilst pregnant I thought of all the things I wanted to give my daughter - and aside from love and care, Christmas traditions was the top of the list. Children are simple creatures, they find complete joy in the innocent and simple , this is what makes them so precious. 

A Frosty Walk

I look forward to stockings over the fire, carol singing, visits to Father Christmas, hot chocolate with marshmallows and mulled wine on Christmas Eve. I look forward to snow angels, gingerbread houses, colourful wrapping paper strewn across the sitting room. Most of all I look forward to plenty of magical Christmases with my perfect little family...together. 

Love till next time -  L&L x

A pocketful of memories.

The husband is away tonight and for one reason or another I thought it would be appropriate to reminisce. I've not been too proactive in getting my blog up and running - day to day life with a one year old seems to leave me as tired as an elf on Christmas morning. But I have decided that (as a rather premature NY resolution) I'm going to take this writing lark a little more seriously.

Tonight I indulged my emotions in a most peculiar way; I read an old, old online diary that I started in 2004. I have always dipped in and out of diary keeping, choosing to write about the times in my life which I have found most painful or emotionally draining. I used this act of writing as a cathartic experience. Looking back over entries (which began when I was 19 and concluded when I was 24) I still hear the person I once was, even though at times the words on the page are hard to stomach.

For the last few hours I have laughed and cried and cringed at the heartache I felt through first loves. I can't believe how broken I was, how emotionally fragile and at times, deeply sad.
Some entries were harder to read than others, I felt as though I wanted to comfort the person who had written such heart-wrenchingly sad prose. I wish I could go back and tell my then-self that everything was got to be ok. That I was to be loved.

And now, more than ever, I can't believe how much becoming a mother has changed me. How all those first loves are so totally irrelevant compared to the love I feel everyday from my perfect little girl. How lucky I am...and how far I have come.

This blog is going to be a record of my life. A time has come to write of the happiness that now surrounds me rather than the sadness in which I drowned myself for so many years.

Here's to writing - Cheers!


Love till next time -  L&L x

Autumn.

Autumn is truly in the air today, bringing promises of Christmas and all the majesty of Winter. The thought of a new season brought me here to my first ever blog, in which I wish to share all I find beautiful in the world (predominately my daughter, cupcakes & fashion).

Since having my daughter a year ago, my life has changed irrevocably. I all too suddenly found myself reading parenting books instead of Vogue and had exchanged my beloved Mulberry bag for a not so appetising 'nappy' bag without even blinking an eye. 

At first, I found it hard to adjust to the fact that I was a mother and (more recently) a wife. It's hard to give-way to the person you once were, to become someone people rely on completely, no matter what you're wearing or what your make up looks like. For so long I missed the pure indulgence of dressing up and getting irrationally excited about my latest fashion find.
However,  after taking a long hard look at myself I decided that just because I have become a mother (to my beloved Deedee) it doesn't need to to change who I am; what I love.

This blog will hopefully allow me to indulge in all my greatest loves.


Welcome.

Love till next time -  L&L x