Last week we had a little holiday, just the three of us.
I needed that week. Head space.
We headed to Crete, near the small village of Plaka and spent six blissful nights together. Quiet, happy, warm and content. I love these escapes that we go on, it gives me time to clear out my thoughts, re-organise them.
The previous few weeks have once again been an emotional rollercoaster. Someone very close to me is going through a hard time. This person is so close that sometimes I don't know if it's her pain and suffering that lies in the air, or my own.
When someone you love is in pain all you want to do is comfort them, to hold their hand and tell them the things they need to hear. You want to wrap them up in your arms and shield them from the demons outside. You want to explain that you love them, that they are strong, that they will get through.
At first I thought it was her sadness that reverberates through me. I felt it in every step, my bones ached with it. But then I realised it wasn't sadness at all, it was love.
I am apart from her situation now. After years of struggling with un-idyllic relationship she shares with him, I have decided that I just have to let it go. I have to let her live the life she desires (rightly or wrongly) even though I know she is going to be eternally let down. He will let her down as he always does. His promises will break, his mask will slip.
As I sat in the sunshine last week, looking out onto the lonely, deserted island of Spinalonga, I realised all of this. I realised that I should not be the one who always picks up her pieces. I realised I'm truly not strong enough for that. All I can do is support and listen and love.
Spinalonga is a painfully beautiful place. Un-nerving, un-assuming, with a history that is so sad that you could almost cry. Now deserted, formally a fort, the lonely island became a Leper colony in the early 20th century. The little island stands like a gravestone in the aqua-blue waters of the Aegean Sea, it is a token of memory to the people who suffered terribly at the hands of Leprosy and poverty. It stands testament to what can be overcome if you fight hard enough. If you believe.
I think there's a lesson in that for all of us.
Love till next time - L&L xx
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